The same 133 players, a different question. Not what they’d tell a 17-year-old packing for their first college visit, but what they’d tell themselves in the middle of it all - halfway through, when the shine has worn off and the grind of college golf is real.

• • •

“Everything will end up working out. Stop comparing yourself to everybody else.”

If you’re new here, this is week 12 of a free, weekly walkthrough of a survey of 133 former college golfers.

The Shift From 17 to 21

When I first read through these responses, I planned to organize them by theme and move on. But somewhere around the 40th or 50th response, I realized something. The advice people give their 21-year-old self is fundamentally different from the advice they give their 17-year-old self, which the survey asked about separately and which I covered last week.

At 17, the advice was mostly about preparation. Practice more. Play more tournaments. Work on your short game. It was a to-do list for a kid who hadn’t gotten there yet.

At 21, the advice shifted to something more internal. Less about what to do. More about how to be. By 21, these players had the reps. They’d qualified, traveled, won a little, lost a lot. The thing they wished they could go back and fix wasn’t their wedge game. It was the way they talked to themselves while they played it.

The Five Themes

When I tallied the responses, five themes dominated.

Trust the Process and Be Patient

“Be patient, and that the mental game and focus/routine is just as important as your technique in your swing”

“Keep things simple. Improvement doesn’t have to be complex.”

Enjoy It More

“Enjoy yourself more playing golf, you are playing and traveling to some amazing places, take it all in.”

“Enjoy the ride. Not to be obsessed with the destination”

Stop Comparing Yourself

“Comparison to others, especially your own teammates. Each player is on their own journey”

Work on Your Weaknesses

“See a mental/performance coach sooner”

It Goes By Fast

“You’ll never remember what you shot in a tournament but you’ll remember the trips and experiences for a lifetime.”

The Gender Divide

This is where the data gets interesting. Women and men gave different advice to their younger selves, and the difference tells you something about what each group struggled with most.

The most common advice from women was a version of “stop comparing yourself.”

“Maybe worrying too much about what my teammates were doing in practice instead of just owning my own game.”

The most common advice from men was a version of “trust the process.”

“Remember it is just a game, but try to find ways to enjoy it without being too hard on yourself.”

Women wished they had been kinder to themselves. Men wished they had been more patient.

The Advice That Transcended Groups

Some wisdom appeared across every demographic - men, women, domestic, international.

“Control what you can control. Let go of the rest.”

“You’ll never remember what you shot in a tournament but you’ll remember the trips and experiences for a lifetime.”

And the one that stayed with me longest:

“Everything will end up working out. Stop comparing yourself to everybody else”

• • •

Subscribe now

• • •

Next chapter: The Transfer Decision - who transferred, why, whether it worked, and what the survey says about reading the situation before you pull the trigger.

If you’re a family navigating the recruiting process right now, I also built CADDIE:

https://caddie.mikkelgolf.com

A complete recruiting system for you to own your recruitment - reviewed by me.