Each Thriving Golfer Is Alike; Each Struggling Golfer Suffers in Their Own Way

The famous first sentence of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina reads, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

I wish I could say I stumbled upon this profound line while actually reading Tolstoy. That I had set aside a few hours in my reading nook, cup of tea in hand, deep in intellectual rigor.

Truth is, I came across it in a much more millennial way. I heard it on a podcast I was half-listening to while multitasking.

“Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” struck a chord. I stopped multitasking and started tasking. And, as is often the case with me, I immediately golfed it:

Each thriving golfer is alike; each struggling golfer suffers in their own way.

Each thriving golfer is alike.
Not a care in the world, every iron shot is flush, and they seem to have the universe on their side. The holes look bigger, their swings feel effortless, and the game seems blissfully simple.
Qualifying for the college team’s top-5, or making the cut at a professional event isn’t just a non-issue—it’s like they don’t even know consequences exist.
We’ve all seen it: the can’t-miss kid emerging on tour, striping every drive, sinking every putt, and strolling into post-round interviews with a breezy, “I just tried to stay patient.” It’s maddening how easy they make it look—like they’ve unlocked golf’s secret menu. Aim, swing, smile, repeat.

But for those on the other side of the game—the struggling golfers—it’s an entirely different story.

Each struggling golfer suffers in their own way.
I’ve paid my dues as a struggling player myself. And now, after a decade of coaching, I’ve seen my fair share of other struggling elite players as well. Let me tell you—us struggling golfers are always a puzzle. Sometimes, what makes us tick is completely at odds with what we’re trying to accomplish.
Coaching elite players isn’t just about fixing mechanics; it’s about decoding what makes each player tick.

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